Bike Shorts – The Scourge/Trend of 2016

Oh NOOOOO.  Bike shorts are apparently back. This may not be a surprise to some of my favourite bloggers (check out the award-winning The Drunken Cyclist and his fantastic Ohmygod series for some serious belly laughs), but it’s news to me…or is it?

Bike Shorts - The Scourge/Trend of 2016 |
How about a “bike suit”? Can I just say that this is the best movie ever?
For the past few months, I’ve been seeing some questionable bike shorts fashion gracing the pages of fashion magazines and tabloidy websites. The likes of Kim Kardashian have been donning this particularly upsetting style lately, and this fashion virus is spreading to others…quickly.

Bike Shorts - The Scourge/Trend of 2016 |

Bike Shorts - The Scourge/Trend of 2016 |
Rihanna in her “disasterpiece” of a bike shorts ensemble. If she weren’t so hot, I’d slap her.
Bike Shorts - The Scourge/Trend of 2016 |
Oh stop it, Miley.
“Oh yes! $780 bike shorts…the sensible choice.” (Source:
I can deal with bodycon styles, in fact, the look is a favourite of mine, but bikes shorts just bring back horrible memories of junior highschool and me trying to “look as cool” as a cast member from Saved By The Bell. At least back then, bike shorts were paired with oversize denim shirts, denim jackets, or chunky oversized sweaters in colours only found at Baskin Robbins. Basically, the tops covered your butt and the cycling shorts didn’t cost $780.

Clarissa Darling
Clarissa Darling…those shorts! That shirt! That headband! MY GOD.
Bike Shorts - The Scourge/Trend of 2016 |
Nope. Nopity-nope-nope. NO. What the hell is happening in this pic anyways? If she about to go snorkelling? Is she about to go ride her bike? Is she doing weights? Are those gym high heels? Alexander Wang…you crazeh.
I’m really hoping this trend won’t take off and it will remain more in keeping with the Tour de France crowd than the local mall crowd.  The last thing we need is a $200 version you’d find at Banana Republic covered in embroidery and jewels.  Sigh.

Are you wearing bike shorts? If so, sorry. Let me know in the comments what you think of this trend? Fashion, function or effed up?

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A blog devoted to all things beautiful with a dash of humour

16 thoughts on “Bike Shorts – The Scourge/Trend of 2016”

  1. The 90’s called. They want their trend back!
    I love some of the trends coming back form the 90s but this is DEFINITELY NOT one of them. For people who can rock it, go forth. But miss dancer legs for days over here is going to avoid cutting them off weirdly and just not even go there. Not even a little bit. Just no.


    Liked by 1 person

  2. I think… let me correct myself… I KNOW FOR SURE that I will give this ‘trend’ a miss… No one is waiting for me to arrive in cycle shorts… come on… if I would go out like that Kim Kardashion, I’d be the laughing stock of the whole of Europe!!! I think she looks totally ridiculous (but I may be biased as I am not at all a KK-fan so I thinks she looks ridiculous in like everything…) .
    Anyway… that was me ranting… enjoy your day Dominique 😀


  3. Kim’s is the only one who styled it to a point where I would even consider wearing it. But lord, Miley’s outfit has to go far far away. But $700 for those shorts is insane. Absolutely INSANE!!! Thanks for keeping me in the loop with this coming trend!

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Don’t ever wear cycling shorts (“biker” shorts are for those who ride Harley’s) unless A) You are going riding, B) You are going to a Spin class, or C) Your only other option is culottes. (Just kidding, I think).

    And thanks for the shout-out!

    Liked by 1 person

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